How to Pray When You Don’t Know What to Say
Don't know what to say when you pray? Prayer doesn't require perfect words. Here's a simple, practical way to begin talking to God exactly where you are.
By Daniel Whitaker — Between Faith & Doubt
There are moments when prayer comes easily.
You know exactly what you want to say. The words are there, the gratitude feels genuine, and talking to God seems almost natural.
And then there are the other moments.
You sit down to pray and your mind goes blank. Maybe you're worried, angry, exhausted, grieving, or simply distracted. You know you should pray, but you don't know where to begin.
If you've ever felt that way, you aren't bad at prayer.
You may just be making prayer more complicated than it needs to be.
Prayer Isn't a Performance
One of the easiest mistakes to make is believing that a prayer has to sound spiritual.
We hear beautifully worded prayers in church. We read prayers written by people who seem to know exactly what to say. Then we compare those words with our own and wonder whether we're doing it wrong.
But prayer isn't a speech.
Jesus actually warned against using empty, repetitive words simply to make a prayer sound impressive. Prayer was never supposed to be a performance for God—or anyone else.
You don't need special vocabulary.
You don't need to sound like a pastor.
You don't even need complete sentences.
Prayer begins with honesty.
Start With What Is True
When you don't know what to say, try starting with the simplest truth you have.
“God, I'm scared.”
“I'm angry.”
“I don't understand what's happening.”
“I'm thankful.”
“I feel alone.”
“I don't even know what to pray right now.”
That last sentence is itself a prayer.
God doesn't need you to explain your situation perfectly. Christianity teaches that God already knows what you're carrying before you say a word.
Prayer isn't giving God information.
It's bringing yourself to Him.
Try Four Simple Things
If having some structure helps, you can build a prayer around four simple ideas:
Thank you. Forgive me. Help me. Help them.
That's enough.
Thank God for something—even something small.
Ask forgiveness for something that's weighing on you.
Tell God where you need help.
Then think about someone else who needs help and pray for that person.
A prayer might be as uncomplicated as:
God, thank you for getting me through today. Forgive me for losing my patience. Help me figure out what to do about this situation. And please take care of my friend who's having such a difficult week. Amen.
There is nothing elaborate about that prayer.
There doesn't need to be.
Borrow Words When You Have None
Sometimes someone else's words can help us find our own.
The Bible is filled with prayers from people experiencing nearly every human emotion imaginable.
The Psalms are especially useful because they aren't relentlessly cheerful. The writers express joy and gratitude, but they also express fear, frustration, loneliness, anger and confusion.
There are moments when they essentially ask God, Where are You?
That matters.
The Bible doesn't present faith as pretending everything is fine.
If you can't find your own words, read a Psalm slowly and turn the words that resonate with you into your prayer.
The Lord's Prayer can serve the same purpose. Jesus gave His followers a remarkably simple framework: honor God, seek His will, ask for what you need today, seek forgiveness, forgive others, and ask for guidance.
You can use that framework without merely repeating the words.
Silence Can Be Prayer Too
There may also be times when you genuinely have nothing to say.
That's okay.
You can sit quietly.
You can breathe.
You can cry.
You can simply acknowledge that God is there.
The New Testament offers a particularly comforting thought about these moments. Romans 8 describes the Spirit helping us in our weakness when we don't know what we ought to pray for.
In other words, struggling to find the words isn't evidence that you've failed at prayer.
Scripture anticipates that there will be times when we won't have them.
Don't Wait Until You Feel Spiritual
Another trap is waiting until you feel especially close to God before praying.
Prayer works the other way around.
Bring the distraction.
Bring the doubts.
Bring the frustration.
Bring the questions you're almost afraid to ask.
A relationship in which you can only speak when everything feels good isn't much of a relationship.
Some of the most meaningful prayers may begin with:
God, I don't understand You right now.
That's still conversation.
That's still honesty.
That's still prayer.
Faith can also mean admitting we do not know why a setback happened. Daniel expands on that idea in Stop Treating Every Closed Door Like a Message From God.
Five Minutes Is Enough
You also don't need an hour-long morning routine to have a meaningful prayer life.
Start with five minutes.
Put your phone down. Find somewhere reasonably quiet. Tell God what's on your mind. Thank Him for something. Ask for help. Pray for somebody you love.
Then stop.
Tomorrow, do it again.
Over time, prayer can become less like an obligation you need to complete and more like a conversation you know you can return to.
Just Start Talking
If you've been avoiding prayer because you don't know the right words, here's the good news:
There aren't any magic ones.
You don't have to impress God.
You don't have to hide what you're feeling.
And you don't have to have your faith completely figured out before you pray.
Start exactly where you are.
Tell God the truth.
And if the only prayer you can manage today is—
“God, I don't know what to say.”
Start there.
